I moved house nearly two weeks ago now and am slowly settling into this new place.
Anyone who comes to my classes knows the analogy I use of the snow globe settling to describe how when we notice the breath and body everything comes into balance, and we can see clearly.
Well, in the last few weeks my snow globe has been shaken and stirred, knocked about the place, left upside down, on it's side and then left to roll under the sofa. Of course I have been meditating my way through this and experiencing periods of balance within the storm but it's only been since yesterday that the snow globe is sitting on the mantelpiece breathing a sigh of relief.
As the clouds part and I begin to experience joy and adventure again I am left with how unhelpful one very familiar thought pattern is. The thought / judgement that 'this shouldn't be happening'. This thought immediately disempowers us and is very addictive because much of our culture supports this kind of perpetual dissatisfaction.
During and after the move when anything other than what I had planned happened the thought 'this shouldn't be happening' rose to meet it. At first I had enough awareness to see the 'this shouldn't be happening' and didn't feed it, but eventually I was so tired and there were so many 'this shouldn't be happenings' it took hold.
When I became aware of a complaining voice going on and on in my head I realised I was stuck, stopped everything and surrendered completely to the breath and body. By letting go I found lots of layers of tension and fear and was able to let them melt away and come back into balance.
I was then able to take action to get my needs met and can now finally relax into being in this lovely space.
I know an inspiring Buddhist monk who ends all his emails with 'Onward!'. Every time I see this Onward! it makes me smile and breathe a sigh of relief. It reminds me that we are always flowing and evolving. That there is nowhere safe to get stuck. The only safety and peace is in keeping on moving and adapting. In meeting the adventure with willingness and grace.
All judgements keep us stuck. No matter how accurate and 'true' they are in the moment, everything is constantly changing so their truth and accuracy is gone as soon as it appears. Holding on to a judgement causes suffering because it goes against the laws of nature, against eternal Truth, that's truth with a capital T.
So I say Onward! to life. And bring it on! And thank goodness for meditation!